


Not Her Mom

by Anxiouslykitty



Category: Madam Secretary
Genre: Blood, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Miscarriage, Motherhood, Pain, burial
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:40:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29409930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anxiouslykitty/pseuds/Anxiouslykitty
Summary: Stevie comes to Nadine when she finds herself in trouble with nowhere to turn.--Read Tags--
Relationships: Elizabeth McCord & Nadine Tolliver, Nadine Tolliver & Stevie McCord
Comments: 28
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please make sure you've read the tags before reading this fic.

Nadine was pouring water from her kettle into a mug for tea when she heard a knock at the door. She glanced at the clock and saw that it was almost midnight. She had only gotten home herself about an hour ago, but still it was not common for her to get visitors this late. She had already changed out of her work clothes and was now wearing a pair of black leggings and a gray turtleneck. She set the kettle down on the stove and headed for the door. She grabbed her cardigan from the back of the sofa and slipped it on. She wasn’t wearing a bra and she didn’t care who it was on the other side of the door, she didn’t need anyone seeing her that dressed down. She slowly opened the door to reveal Stevie McCord standing on her doorstep.

Stevie was wearing the same work clothes she had seen her in earlier when they had stopped by the White House. Something was different though. Her clothes were wrinkled and Nadine could see some sort of stain on the hem of her skirt. Stevie looked like she had been crying. Her makeup was smeared and her eyes were red. She stood with her arms wrapped tightly around her body and she looked like she was shivering.

“Stevie” Nadine said in surprise. “What...How…”

Nadine was at a loss for what to say there were so many questions running through her mind. She didn’t know how Stevie had known where she lived or why Stevie would come to her home. She also knew that something was really wrong for Stevie to look this disheveled and for her to come to Nadine for something. She had always assumed that Stevie was afraid of her. While her mind ran in a million different directions she tried to focus on Stevie and realized behind everything she looked extremely pale.

“Come in,” Nadine offered, stepping back to allow Stevie to enter.

Stevie trembled as she walked past Nadine. Nadine closed the door and turned to observe Stevie. She tried to catch Stevie’s eyes, but she wouldn’t look up from the ground. Nadine gestured to the couch and Stevie shook her head.

“What’s wrong Stevie” Nadine asked. “Is something wrong with your mom?”

Surely if something had happened to Elizabeth she would have gotten a call from someone, but she couldn’t help the idea flash through her mind. After Vincent all of the horrible things one never imagines happening became possibilities. Stevie made glancing eye contact and shook her head quickly. Nadine let out a little breath she was holding. She didn’t know why she had been so scared of something being wrong with Elizabeth, but if she was being honest Elizabeth was her only friend.

“Are you sure you don’t want to sit down” Nadine asked.

“I can’t” Stevie whispered.

It was the first thing Stevie had said since Nadine had opened the door and she could hear the sadness in the girl’s voice. She wanted to reach out and pat her arm, but she didn’t feel she knew her that well. Instead she just took a step closer to Stevie putting herself in Stevie’s line of vision. Stevie was still looking at the floor, but now Nadine was partially in her view.

“Why not” Nadine asked softly.

“I...I…” Stevie whimpered. “I have blood on my skirt.”

Nadine felt like her stomach dropped and she swallowed hard. Adrenaline pumped through her system as she tried to focus her mind on one thing at a time. She needed to make sure that Stevie wasn’t injured and that nobody else was injured. She needed to assess the situation and she needed to do it fast.

“What happened” Nadine asked, grabbing Stevie lightly and turning her to look at the back of her skirt. “Are you hurt? Was someone else hurt?”

Stevie shook with what Nadine recognized immediately as stifled sobs. After seeing the large stain on the back of Stevie’s skirt she turned her back so they were facing each other. Nadine moved her hands from Stevie’s hips and opened her arms to Stevie. Stevie collapsed into Nadine’s embrace and clutched at the sides of her shirt. Nadine hugged Stevie close to her body and murmured little shushing noises in her ear. Stevie sobbed heavily into Nadine’s shoulder.

“Stevie” Nadine started. “Honey, you need to tell me what’s wrong so that I can help you.”

Nadine rubbed one hand up and down Stevie’s back and waited for her to calm herself down enough to tell her what was happening. After a few hiccupped breaths Stevie took a deep breath.

“I think I’m having a miscarriage and I don’t know what to do” Stevie sobbed.

Nadine hugged Stevie tighter and took a deep breath. Her heart broke for the young girl. She had no idea that Stevie was pregnant and she wasn’t sure that Elizabeth knew. Although they didn’t often talk about Elizabeth’s children when they were at work she thought for sure that Elizabeth wouldn’t have been able to keep something like Stevie being pregnant to herself. Nadine knew that there were things that needed to be done to make sure that Stevie was okay, but she knew that Stevie needed time to be comforted.

After a few minutes Stevie’s breath started to even out and her crying seemed to have stopped. Her whole body was shaking and Nadine knew she was not only hugging her but holding some of Stevie’s weight. Nadine rubbed her hand in Stevie’s hair and then pulled back a little so that she could try and look at Stevie’s face.

“Honey, how far along are you” Nadine asked calmly.

“I don’t know” Stevie whispered. “I took a test two weeks ago and that’s when I found out.”

Nadine did some math in her head. It took until about the fourth week for a pregnancy test to turn positive, but it takes about six to seven weeks before most women realize that they might be pregnant. That would put Stevie maybe somewhere between six and nine weeks along. Still rather common for a miscarriage. 

“I didn’t know where to go,” Stevie whimpered. “I’m sorry I know I shouldn’t have just turned up here.”

Stevie pulled away from Nadine and started for the door. Nadine grabbed her wrist to stop her and pulled her back to her.

“Stevie, it's okay,” Nadine said. “Now let’s get you in the bath and then I’ll get you something to change into.

Stevie looked so young as she looked at Nadine. Nadine reached up and placed her hand comfortingly on Stevie’s cheek.

“It’s okay,” Nadine comforted. “Let’s just take this one step at a time.”

Stevie nodded and followed Nadine to her bedroom. Nadine guided Stevie into her bathroom and motioned for her to sit on the toilet. Nadine turned the water on hot and started filling the tub. When she turned around Stevie was sitting on the lid of the toilet with her arms wrapped tightly around her body shaking. Nadine walked over and knelt down in front of her. She placed both her hands on Stevie’s knees and looked up at her.

“Do you want to call anyone” Nadine asked.

“I don’t want my parents to know and I don’t have anyone else I can call” Stevie responded. 

“That’s alright,” Nadine replied. “I promise I won’t tell your mom anything unless you ask me to.”

“She would be so disappointed” Stevie sobbed.

“Why would she be disappointed” Nadine asked. “This isn’t your fault. There’s nothing you could have done to prevent this. Sometimes this just happens.”

“She would be so upset I got pregnant in the first place” Stevie explained. “I just can’t seem to stop messing up.”

“Slow down,” Nadine instructed. “Take some deep breaths. Let’s focus back on one thing at a time. Let’s get you into the bath and I’ll get you something to wear.”

Nadine stood and walked over to turn off the water in the tub. Stevie stood up and swayed a little which made Nadine take a few quick steps back to her side. She put her hand gently on Stevie’s back and rubbed back and forth.

“Alright do you think you can get undressed and in the tub by yourself or do you want my help” Nadine asked.

“I can do it,” Stevie replied.

“Alright I’ll wait just outside the door until you’re in the tub” Nadine said leaving the room and closing the door leaving a small gap so she could still hear. She leaned against the door frame and put her hands over her face and took some deep breaths. She knew that her night was not going to end anytime soon. After Stevie got cleaned up they would have to go to the hospital. Normally Stevie wouldn’t need to go to the ER for a miscarriage, but it was the middle of the night and she didn’t have a doctor. Nadine listened intently to the sound of Stevie dropping clothes on the floor and then she heard the water moving and she knew Stevie was getting in the tub.

“Is the water oaky” Nadine asked.

“Yes” Stevie replied.

“Do you need anything” Nadine asked.

“I’m okay,” Stevie replied.

“Alright I’ll be back in just a minute okay” Nadine said.

“Are you leaving” Stevie asked, fear in her voice.

“I’m just going to grab something,” Nadine replied. “I’ll be quick. I promise I’m not leaving.”

“Oaky” Stevie said quietly.

Nadine quickly left her room and headed for the front door. There was a twenty something girl who lived in the condo next door that she had bumped into a couple of times. She was the only one of her neighbors that she ever saw awake at the odd hours she came home from the office. They had said hi a few times, but they had never really talked. Midnight was not the best time to knock on someone's door, but she was going to have to. Nadine left her front door unlocked and ran quickly over to the girl’s front door. The lights were on in the girl’s condo and Nadine thanked the heavens for it. She reached up and knocked quickly. It only took a minute before the door slowly opened to reveal the girl.

“I’m really sorry to bother you so late,” Nadine explained. “I don’t know if you remember me, but I live next door.”

“Yeah” the girl replied. “Is everything okay? Is my music too loud?”

“No, your music’s fine,” Nadine replied quickly. “I...I…”

“Are you okay” the girls asked.

“I’m sorry,” Nadine said. “My name’s Nadine by the way.”

“Cindy,” the girls replied.

“Would you by any chance have a large pad” Nadine rushed. “Like a nighttime pad or something.”

Cindy looked at Nadine skeptically.

“A pad” Cindy questioned.

“Yes” Nadine replied.

“Like for periods,” Cindy asked, looking confused.

It dawned on Nadine that this girl didn’t understand why someone Nadine’s age would be asking for a pad. She would have laughed if it was a different time.

“It’s not for me,” Nadine replied. “My friend is having a miscarriage and I’m just looking for a pad thick enough so she doesn’t bleed on her clothes when I take her to the hospital.”

Nadine didn’t know why she had been so honest. She could have easily been more vague, but it had all just come out. Looking at the shocked sadness on Cindy’s face she wished she hadn’t told her so much,

“Umm...Just give me a minute” Cindy said disappearing into her house.

Nadine felt awkward standing on the doorstep waiting for Cindy to come back. There would be a lot of awkward run-ins between them in the future. She wasn’t looking forward to that. Cindy came back with a few things in her hand and passed them to Nadine.

“There’s an overnight pad and a long pad,” Cindy explained. “I hope that works. I’m sorry about your friend.”

“Thank you,” Nadine said. “I’m really sorry for bothering you so late.”

“It’s alright” Cindy replied, quietly closing the door as Nadine buried back to her house.

Once inside she rushed back to the bedroom and to the door to the bathroom.

“Are you alright in there” Nadine asked.

“Yeah” Stevie replied quietly. “I’m feeling really tired.”

“Okay, finish getting cleaned up and then we’ll get you changed,” Nadine replied.

Nadine went over to her dresser and pulled out a pair of oversized leggings she had that she normally rolled up and a black tank top. She went to her closet and pulled down one of her largest sweaters that would easily fit Stevie. Normally underwear was something that people didn’t share, but she figured that with the pad on Stevie would be okay with it and pulled a pair she rarely wore from her dresser. With the clothes in a stack she went back to the bathroom door. 

“Do you want me to come in” Nadine asked.

There was no response and Nadine immediately started to worry.

“Stevie” Nadine questioned.

When there was no response, but she could hear Stevie crying, Nadine just walked in. She set the clothes down on the counter and grabbed a clean towel from the linen cupboard in the corner. She walked over to the tub and held the towel open to Stevie.

“Come on sweetheart” Nadine welcomed.

Stevie slowly stood up and stepped out of the tub into Nadine’s arms. Nadine wrapped the towel around her and encouraged Stevie to grab the towel to hold it in place. Stevie hunched forward a little as she held the towel to her body. 

“Dry yourself off before you get cold,” Nadine instructed.

“I’ll get blood on it,” Stevie whispered.

“It doesn't matter” Nadine replied.

Stevie dried herself off and Nadine grabbed the underwear and applied the long pad and then the thick overnight pad over top of it. It wasn’t perfect, but she was sure they would stay in place with the leggings she had picked out for Stevie. She brought them over and handed them to Stevie to put on. Stevie let the towel drop and Nadine could see the very small bump of Stevie’s stomach. Stevie was definitely further along than Nadine thought she was. Stevie slipped the underwear on and Nadine handed her the tank top. After that Nadine gave her the leggings and Stevie pulled them on. She grabbed her stomach lightly and winced and Nadine waited to give her the sweater.

“How much pain are you in” Nadine asked.

“It’s just really bad cramps” Stevie replied.

“Stevie, I have to ask,” Nadine began. “Do you have an idea of how far along you are? I know you said you didn’t know, but is there anything that would help you narrow it down?”

“I...I…” Stevie stammered.

“Stevie, it's okay,” Nadine said. “I’m not here to judge you.”

“I haven’t had sex in almost three months” Stevie responded looking down at the ground.

“Alright” Nadine said and handed Stevie the sweater.

Stevie was definitely further along that Nadine thought. She was probably more like twelve to fourteen weeks along. Nadine knew this wasn’t going to be easy at all. She was dreading the emotional night they were going to have when they got to the hospital. She wished she could call Elizabeth, but she promised Stevie she wouldn’t. Nadine guided Stevie into her bedroom and sat down on the bed with her. 

“Stevie, I think we need to go to the hospital now and get you looked at,” Nadine explained. “We need to make sure that if you are having a miscarriage that everything is happening that needs to happen.”

Stevie shook her head and started to cry again.

“I know you don’t want to, but we have to,” Nadine insisted. “It will be okay and I won’t leave your side if you don’t want me to.”

Nadine left Stevie sitting on the bed while she slipped a bra on under her turtleneck. She went into the living room and threw a few things into one of her large purses and came back into the bedroom to get Stevie. Stevie looked like she was ready to collapse. Nadine knew she was tired, she was tired herself. They had both probably been up since four that morning and were creeping slowly towards twenty-four hours of awake time. She couldn’t imagine how much more exhausted Stevie must be.

The ride to the hospital was quiet and Nadine was grateful for it. She really didn’t know what to say to Stevie. They had barely ever interacted before tonight and now she was here for one of the worst moments of Stevie’s life. She didn’t want to say the wrong thing and make Stevie feel worse. Nadine could remember how horrible it had been when she herself had a miscarriage when she was around Stevie’s age. It had been different for her. She was only five weeks along and it was a pregnancy she didn’t want. It had been painful and she wouldn’t wish it on anyone, but she assumed it was nothing like what Stevie’s going through.

When they arrived at the hospital Nadine offered to drop Stevie at the door to the ER but Stevie didn’t want to go in alone. So Nadine parked as close as she could to the building and they walked in together. Stevie held onto Nadine’s arm and she appeared so young and small leaning into Nadine’s small frame. She looked like a child and it made Nadine feel even more protective of her. When they walked up to the nurse at the desk Stevie didn’t say anything.

“How can I help you” the nurse asked.

Nadine glanced at Stevie and then looked back at the nurse. The waiting room was mostly empty. There were a few people spread out, but nobody close enough to hear what she was going to say.

“She thinks she is having a miscarriage” Nadine said quietly.

The nurse looked from Nadine to Stevie and then back to Nadine. She gave Nadine a small smile and then started typing on her computer.

“Alright I understand,” the nurse said quietly. “How far along is she?”

“She doesn’t know for sure, but we think between twelve and fourteen weeks” Nadine replied.

The nurses eyes softened even more and Nadine knew that she understood how painful this situation was. 

“Let me see if I can get you in quickly,” the nurse replied. “Can you fill out these forms and bring them up when you’re done? Her name?”

“Stephanie,” Nadine said.

“Last name” the nurse asked.

Before Nadine could respond Stevie gripped her arm hard and Nadine looked at her.

“Tolliver” Stevie replied.

The nurse glanced at her and then typed it into the computer. Stevie looked at Nadine and her eyes pleaded with Nadine not to say anything. Nadine understood. If she said McCord it wouldn't take much for someone to connect her to Elizabeth and that would make things awkward. Eventually they would have to put her real name on the records for insurance purposes, but for now it was okay for Stevie to use her name.

“Alright have a seat and fill out these forms and I’ll try and find you a room quickly” the nurse explained.

The nurse was true to her word and they were taken to a private room in the back in under ten minutes. Stevie sat on the bed with her knees pulled to her chest and Nadine sat in a chair next to the bed. Stevie hadn’t said anything since they checked in and Nadine was letting her have the peace. When the doctor came in and started asking questions it became clear that Stevie was not going to talk. Nadine did all the talking and answered all the questions she could. They took blood and vitals and then brought in the ultrasound. When Stevie had to stretch out to allow them to do the ultrasound she started to shake. Nadine leaned forward and grabbed her hand.

“Mom you can get up on the bed if you want” the tech offered.

Nadine blushed and looked at Stevie.

“Oh...umm.” Nadine stammered. “I’m not her mom.”

“Oh I’m sorry” the tech said looking embarrassed.

Stevie looked at Nadine with tears running down her cheeks and Nadine realized it didn’t matter that she wasn’t Stevie’s mom. She knew if Elizabeth was here that she would climb on the bed and hold Stevie so that’s what Nadine did. She gently sat on the edge of the bed and wrapped her arm around Stevie and pulled her head into her chest. Stevie let herself be buried in Nadine’s shoulder. The tech helped arrange them so that she could still perform the scan. Nadine focused entirely on trying to keep Stevie calm. She whispered calming words to her and rubbed her hair gently.

“Alright you can wipe yourself off” the tech instructed.

Stevie didn’t make a move to do it herself and Nadine grabbed the towel with her free hand and gently rubbed the gel from Stevie’s stomach. She felt a tear slip down her own cheek and was quick to brush it away as she pulled Stevie’s leggings up again and pulled down the tank top and sweater.

The wait for the doctor to come back was passed quietly. A nurse had given Stevie some pain meds and it allowed Stevie to relax a bit. After a while Nadine realized that Stevie had actually fallen asleep in her arms. She was glad that she had relaxed enough to fall asleep and she rested her head back against the pillows. When the doctor finally came in she could see from his face that things weren’t good. She rubbed Stevie’s arm gently and whispered in her ear until she woke up.

The doctor explained everything to them slowly and in great detail. After the confirmation that she was having a miscarriage Stevie seemed to check out. She tucked tighter to Nadine and wouldn’t look back at the doctor. Nadine listened intently and took in all the options available and what the next steps that would need to be taken. He explained that Stevie was having an incomplete miscarriage. There were three options of steps to move forward and he explained each one. 

“I’ll leave you two for a few minutes to decide and I’ll be back” the doctor said before excusing himself.

“Stevie, you’re going to have to make a decision now,” Nadine said quietly.

“I don’t know what to do,” Stevie whispered.

“Well we can go home and wait and see if it passes on it’s own or we can get the prescription which will help your body along” Nadine explained. “Or you can have a D&C.”

“I don’t know what to do,” Stevie repeated.

As much as Nadine didn’t want to she knew she was going to have to make the decision for Stevie. She wished she knew the girl better. She had heard a million stories about her from Elizabeth and she had seen her work, but she didn’t really know her. She was a lot like Elizabeth though, very passionate yet sensitive. She knew that a D&C would probably be traumatizing for someone like Stevie, so if they could avoid it she wanted to. At the same time she wasn’t comfortable taking her home and hoping that everything passed normally.

“I think maybe you should go with the prescription” Nadine suggested.

“Okay” Stevie replied.

“Is that what you want to do” Nadine asked.

“I think so,” Stevie replied. 

“Alright that’s what we’ll do then” Nadine replied.

“I can’t go home” Stevie whimpered.

“That’s okay” Nadine replied quickly. “You can come home with me. I told you I would stay with you if you wanted me to.”

Stevie didn’t reply; she just closed her eyes and turned herself further into Nadine grabbing the fabric of Nadine cardigan.

It took another two hours before they were on their way back to Nadine’s condo. The sun was starting to come up and Nadine knew she was going to have to call them both out of work soon. She knew Elizabeth wouldn't ask any questions, but it was going to be hard to get Russell to leave it all alone. The first thing Nadine did when they got inside was get Stevie to take the medicine they were given. She was warned it would be a rough experience for Stevie and that the best thing she could do was make sure she drank plenty of water and changed her pads frequently. She settled Stevie in her bed and went back into the living room to make calls.

She called Blake first and told him she wasn’t coming in. As expected he asked no questions. She could hear the surprise in his voice, but she figured he would cover for her with everyone else. She called Russell next.

“It’s a little early even for you Nadine” Russell snapped into the phone.

“Russell, Stevie won’t be into work today or tomorrow” Nadine said calmly.

“What are you calling out for my staff now” Russell quipped. “Taking work mommy to another level aren't you.”

“Russell today is not the day” Nadine said sternly, upset with herself that her voice caught with the tears that were forming. “Not today.” 

“Alright fine” Russel replied. “Is everything okay?”

“It will be” Nadine replied quietly.

She ended the call and was appreciative that somewhere in Russell there was a kind human being. She didn’t think she had it in her to fight with him right now.

“Nadine” Stevie cried from the bedroom.

Nadine almost ran into the bedroom. Stevie was crying again and curled up as tight as she could holding her stomach. Nadine didn’t hesitate and climbed into the bed and wrapped herself around Stevie. She gently rubbed her back.

“It hurts” Stevie sobbed.

“I know it does,” Nadine replied. “The pain meds should kick back in soon. Just keep breathing.”

It was almost noon when Nadine woke up again. She hadn’t realized she had fallen asleep but she was still wrapped around Stevie. Stevie was asleep too and Nadine tried to pull away a little, but Stevie immediately gripped tighter to her cardigan. 

“Sweetie, you need to wake up to change your pad,” Nadine instructed.

Stevie stirred a little and Nadine succeeded in pulling away. Nadine helped Stevie out of the bed and watched her head to the bathroom. She could see that she had leaked into the leggings she was wearing. Nadine quickly pulled out another pair of leggings and knocked on the door. 

“Stevie, I’m just going to set another pair of leggings here on the counter” Nadine said, opening the door just enough to slip the pants on the counter next to the pads and back out of the room. 

She quickly stripped the bed and put new sheets on. Under the sheets she laid down several towels and then over the sheets she laid a few blankets so that if she leaked again all Nadine would have to do was strip a blanket off. Stevie came back out of the bathroom in tears and climbed back into the bed. Nadine sat on the edge of the bed as she pulled the covers up to Stevie’s chin.

“Why don’t you drink some water” Nadine said, offering Stevie a glass of water from the nightstand.

Stevie sipped a little before pushing the glass away. Nadine set it back on the nightstand. She reached over and gently brushed hair off of Stevie’s face. Stevie looked up at Nadine with tears in her eyes and Nadine felt her heart clench.

“Will you please call my mom” Stevie pleaded.

“Of course” Nadine said, pulling out her phone. “Do you want to talk to her?”

“No, I just want her to be here” Stevie sobbed. Nadine shifted so she was sitting against the pillows and Stevie shifted so that her head was lying on Nadine’s lap. With her left hand Nadine rubbed Stevie’s back while she used her right to call Blake.

“Blake, I need to talk to the Secretary now,” Nadine said into the phone.

“She’s in a meeting with…” Blake began.

“It doesn’t matter,” Nadine said sternly. “I need to talk to her now.”

Blake stammered a bit before putting Nadine on hold. While she waited for Elizabeth to pick up she looked down and watched Stevie. Stevie had cuddled herself up and Nadine thought she might have drifted back off the sleep. Suddenly Elizabeth was on the phone.

“Nadine, what's wrong” Elizabeth asked, concern thick in her voice.

“I need you to come to my house,” Nadine said. “I have Stevie here.”

“Is she okay” Elizabeth asked quickly.

“She’s okay, but she needs you” Nadine replied.

“I’m on my way,” Elizabeth said before hanging up.

“You’re mom is coming” Nadine said to Stevie.

There was no response and Nadine knew she had fallen back to sleep. Nadine texted Blake to tell him that Elizabeth should just let herself in when she got here and she closed her eyes. The next thing she knew she was waking up to a hand on her shoulder. She opened her eyes to see her boss standing over her with concerned eyes.

“Nadine what happened” Elizabeth asked.

“It’s not for me to tell you,” Nadine replied. 

Nadine gently rubbed Stevie’s arm and brushed a hand through Stevie’s hair.

“Stevie, your mom is here” Nadine whispered.

Stevie opened her eyes and looked up at Nadine. When she saw her mom she sat up a little off of Nadine and reached out for her mom a fresh round of tears pouring down her face. A loud sob filled the room and Elizabeth ran around the bed and climbed up wrapping Stevie into her body. Nadine slowly slipped out of the bed and walked out of the room. She left the door open so that if they needed anything she could hear them. She made it to the end of the hallway and leaned against the wall and slipped to the floor. The sound of feet quickly approaching her startled her a bit, but she was too tired and emotional to do anything.

“Are you okay” Blake asked, squatting down next to her.

Nadine opened her mouth to say something and couldn’t. A lump had formed in her throat and there was a tightness in her chest. She would normally never show her emotions in front of her co-workers, but right now she didn’t think she had any control. A sob escaped her and she clamped her hand quickly over her mouth to stifle anymore. Blake immediately sat down next to her and pulled her into his body. She let him and turned her face into his chest. She knew she was ruining his shirt with her tears and she knew she would be embarrassed when this was all over, but for now she just needed to feel all the emotions she had been holding back the last twelve hours. 

“I’m sorry” Nadine whimpered.

“It’s okay” Blake comforted. “I’ve got you.”

Nadine let go and let Blake comfort her and let herself feel everything. As Blake rubbed her arm he pushed a handkerchief into one of her hands. She used it to cover most of her face and tucked herself further into his embrace. Blake in turn held her closer. She knew she was lucky to have someone like Blake in her life. She knew that Stevie would get through this and she was so glad that she had wanted Elizabeth to be here. They would all be able to help Stevie get through this and Nadine knew she wanted to be a part of that. So for now she was going to let herself go while Stevie was being taken care of so that when Stevie needed her she would be ready and able.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys requested a second chapter so here it is. I struggled to find a way to wrap it up, but I hope this completes it well.

Her muscles all tensed as Nadine stretched out completely. She didn’t remember how she had gotten on the couch, but she knew she hadn’t put herself there. She figured there would be time to be embarrassed about whatever had happened for her to end up tucked in comfortably on her own couch later. She opened her eyes finally to see what had finally woken her and saw Elizabeth sitting on the edge of the coffee table looking at her. 

Elizabeth looked exhausted and like she had been crying. She had stripped off her jacket at some point and her shirt and skirt were wrinkled. Nadine’s brain began to clear and she remembered everything that had happened over the last few hours. She closed her eyes again to take a deep breath.

“What time is it” Nadine asked, as she opened her eyes again.

“It’s a little after one” Elizabeth replied.

Nadine sat up and winced as her body ached in response to sleeping on the couch. Elizabeth handed her a mug and she took it without question. The smell that wafted up to her told her it was tea. She took a sip and gave Elizabeth a small smile.

“How is Stevie” Nadine asked quietly.

“She’s resting still,” Elizabeth replied. “We are going to have the motorcade take us out to the farm in a little bit.”

Nadine looked at her quizzically.

“Stevie wants to bury the…” Elizabeth’s voice cracked. “She wants to bury…”

“She delivered the baby,” Nadine supplied.

Elizabeth’s face crumpled and she closed her eyes while she covered her mouth tightly with her hand. Nadine leaned forward and set her cup down on the table before pulling Elizabeth into a hug. She realized she had never hugged Elizabeth before, but she knew this was what needed to be done. She couldn’t sit there and just watch Elizabeth suffer.

“It was so horrible,” Elizabeth whispered. “It was just there in her underpants when she went to the bathroom. She yelled for me and I...I…”

“It’s okay” Nadine comforted, rubbing her hand on Elizabeth’s back. “You don’t have to talk about it right now.”

“I don’t know what to say to her,” Elizabeth said.

“I don’t think she needs you to say anything right now” Nadine explained. “I think right now she just needs you to hold her and remind her that she is loved.”

Elizabeth took a deep breath and started to lean away and Nadine dropped her arms and sat back. She gave Elizabeth a small smile as Elizabeth wiped her face.

“So she wants to bury the baby at the farm,” Nadine replied. “I think that is a good idea. Do you need anything?”

Elizabeth looked at her sadly.

“We need something to put it in” Elizabeth replied. “I don’t know what to do. I wrapped it in my scarf and I don’t know…I don’t know.”

“I have something,” Nadine said, getting off the couch and walking over to her bookcase. She moved a few books and pulled a small wooden box from the back of one of the shelves. It was about the size of her hand and had an intricate design etched into it. She opened it and removed a small gold necklace and a USB stick. She turned and brought the box over to Elizabeth and gently handed it to her. Elizabeth took the box with both hands and looked at it running her fingers over it gently. 

“Oh Nadine” Elizabeth exclaimed. “It’s beautiful.”

Nadine fingered the necklace and gave Elizabeth a small smile.

“Where did you get it” Elizabeth asked.

Nadine blushed and looked down at the items in her hands.

“Vincent” Nadine whispered.

“Oh Nadine,” Elizabeth replied. “If it’s something so important to you.”

“No” Nadine interrupted. “I think this is a better use for it.”

“What are those” Elizabeth asked, pointing to Nadine’s hands.

Nadine opened her hand so that Nadine could see the necklace and the USB stick. Elizabeth looked up at her confused. 

“There the only things I kept from Vincent” Nadine explained. “The box, this necklace, and all of the pictures we ever took together.”

“I’m sorry Nadine,” Elizabeth replied.

“I’m okay,” Nadine replied. “After finding out all of the things he was keeping from me I don’t feel for him the same way I did before.”

“You still loved him though” Elizabeth offered.

“A great deal,” Nadine replied embarrassed. She walked away and put the necklace and USB stick safely in another small trinket box she had.

Stevie walked into the room and looked from Nadine to her mom. Nadine turned and gave her a small smile. She didn’t know what to say so she waited to see what Stevie would do.

“Nadine” Stevie started. “Will you come with us to the farm?

Nadine was surprised. She had expected Stevie to only want her mother around now that she was here. She had planned on helping by taking care of everything at the office so that Elizabeth could take some time to be with Stevie. She looked over at Elizabeth who gave her a small nod.

“If you want me to, of course I will,” Nadine replied.

“You don’t have to if…”Stevie began.

Nadine took a step towards her and placed a hand gently on Stevie’s arm.

“It’s okay Stevie” Nadine comforted. “Anything you want we can do.”  
\---------

The three of them sat quietly in the back seat of the SUV. Stevie sat in the middle between Nadine and Elizabeth. She was curled into her mother and Elizabeth had an arm protectively around her. Nadine held the small box that now held Stevie’s miscarried baby. She was doing everything she could to not think about what she was holding or how sad this whole situation was. 

They were getting closer to the farm and Nadine was curious about what they would do when they got there. Stevie was still bleeding and in pain. Nadine imagined that she wouldn’t be up for anything much. She had gotten into the motorcade without thinking much ahead of what was going to happen. She didn’t know how long they were going to be there or how she would get back. She didn’t know if they planned to stay the night or come home after the burial. She was trying to let her questions go and just stay in the moment with Elizabeth and Stevie.

Suddenly Stevie sat up away from Elizabeth and turned towards Nadine. She whined and grabbed her stomach. Without saying anything she curled into Nadine’s side. Nadine was startled and surprised when Stevie snuggled into her. 

“I’m sorry Nadine,” Elizabeth said. “Here let me switch with you.”

“It’s okay,” Nadine replied. “Can you just…”

Nadine held the box out and Elizabeth leaned around Stevie and grabbed the box pulling it protectively to her body. Nadine slipped her arm out from under Stevie and wrapped it around her. Stevie took the opportunity to lay her head on Nadine’s chest and snuggle in closely. Nadine rubbed her arm and kissed her on top of the head. When Nadine realized Elizabeth was watching her she blushed and gave her a small smile.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to thank you enough for what you’ve done for Stevie,” Elizabeth said quietly.

“I only did what anyone would have done,” Nadine replied.

“Most people would have just dropped her at the hospital or called me straight away” Elizabeth replied. “You respected her wishes and then stayed with her supporting her through the whole night until she was ready to tell me. Not everyone would have done that and I don’t know how to thank you.”

“You’re my only friend and she’s your daughter” Nadine said quietly. “I did what I thought you would do if you were there.”

Nadine was embarrassed she had admitted that Elizabeth was her only friend and she blushed and looked away out of the window.

“I’m really glad to have a friend like you, Nadine” Elizabeth replied. “I’m lucky that Stevie knew she could trust you like I do.”

\---------

Nadine had sat in the living room while Elizabeth went out and picked a spot and dug a small grave. It hadn’t taken her long and when she came back she was sweaty and Nadine could see that she had been crying more. She chose not to comment on it and just followed Elizabeth’s instructions as they helped Stevie get out to the spot Elizabeth had picked.

Stevie held the little box against her chest and Nadine and Elizabeth held her arms on either side. Stevie kissed the top of the boxy and then handed it to Elizabeth. Nadine wrapped her arm around Stevie as Elizabeth stepped away and placed the box gently in the bottom of the grave. She began to bury it as Nadine and Stevie watched. When Elizabeth finished she stepped back next to Stevie and Nadine stepped forward and laid down the flowers they had picked on top of the pile of fresh dirt. She stepped back and the three of them stood there together looking at where the small baby was now buried.

“Shouldn’t we say something” Stevie croaked out. “Nadine…”

Stevie looked at Nadine with tears streaming down her face. Nadine looked at Elizabeth and saw that she was in no state to say anything. Nadine took a deep breath and looked down at the ground.

“Okay” Nadine replied. 

Nadine felt Elizbeth grab her arm gently against Stevie’s back and she took another deep breath.

“You were held in your mother’s heart” Nadine began. “And from that you received enough love to fill a lifetime. Your life was not long, but for all of it you were cared for completely. Although you never took a breath in this world you have left your mark on our hearts.”

Nadine closed her eyes and began to recite:

“Miz-mohr leh-dah-vid, ah-doh-noi roh-ee loh ekh-sar.

Bin-oht deh-sheh yahr-bee-tzay-nee, ahl may meh-noo-khoht yeh-nah-hah-lay-nee. 

Nahf-shee yeh-shoh-vayv, yahn-chay-nee veh-mah-geh-lay tzeh-dek leh-mah-ahn sheh-moh. 

Gahm kee ay-laykh beh-gay tzahl-mah-veht, loh ee-rah rah, kee ah-tah ee-mah-dee, shiv-teh-khah oo-mish-ahn-teh-khah hay-mah yeh-nah-khah-moo-nee. 

Tah-ah-rohkh leh-fah-nai shool-khahn neh-gehd tzoh-reh-rai, dee-shahn-tah vah-sheh-mehn roh-shee, koh-see reh-vah-yah. 

Ahkh tohv vah-kheh-sehd yir-deh-foo-nee kohl yeh-may khah-yai, veh-shahv-tee beh-vayt ah-doh-noi leh-oh-rehch yah-mim.”

  
The three of them stood in silence for another minute before Elizabeth whispered something in Stevie’s ear and they turned to walk back to the house. Nadine followed quietly behind them into the house. Stevie excused herself to go to her bedroom and Elizabeth sat down on the couch. Elizabeth patted the spot next to her and Nadine sat down next to her on the couch. Elizabeth was leaned back into the couch so Nadine followed suit.

“I didn’t know you spoke Hebrew” Elizabeth said.

“Not a lot, but I do know some of the prayers,” Nadine replied. “I used to speak more fluently when I was younger, but I let myself lose a lot of it.”

“It was beautiful,” Elizabeth replied. “Thank you.”

They were quiet for a minute or two just enjoying the peace of sitting together. They didn’t get the opportunity to sit quietly and just enjoy each others company very often. Nadine appreciated the peace she experienced when around Elizabeth. 

“I would have been a grandmother” Elizabeth whispered after a minute.

Nadine looked over at Elizabeth and saw tears slowly slipping down her face.

“You will be one day” Nadine replied quietly. 

Elizabeth covered her face with both hands and Nadine wrapped her arm around Elizabeth’s shoulders and pulled Elizabeth into her body. Elizabeth let herself be pulled into Nadine’s chest and she cried. Elizabeth pulled her feet up on the couch and cuddled further into Nadine. Nadine in turn scooted so she was resting against the arm of the couch. She brought her legs up and Elizabeth settled against Nadine’s body as they both laid down on the couch together. 

“You are a great mother” Nadine cooed. “One day you will be an amazing grandmother too. For now all you have to do is love your daughter and help her grieve. So take this time to let it all out. It’s okay.”

Elizabeth sobbed loudly and turned her head into Nadine further to muffle her sobs against Nadine’s chest. Nadine gently rubbed Elizabeth’s back and whispered calming words. Nadine knew she was crying too. It was hard not to when she could feel Elizabeth’s pain so intensely. She had never had a friend like this before, but this is what she knew Elizabeth would do for her. So even though she was a little uncomfortable and she knew she would struggle to reconcile this with her normal relationship with Elizabeth she did what felt right in the moment. She gave Elizabeth all the love she had in hopes that it would provide some sort of comfort to her so that she could support Stevie.


End file.
